To My Best Friend

To My Best Friend,

Tonight was an eye opener. I knew so many of these things were true, but I hadn't let them hit me as hard before. Your comments, your openness, the way you describe our relationship... It was beautiful and yet sad. It was sad because it didn't quite address the issues that were at hand. It was one sided; it was selfish. I didn't understand. I'm taken back to the mentality of a 16 year old - write out your feelings and make them extremely dramatic. After spending a few minutes with you, I feel like a kid again in some ways. And I like that. So here I am writing out the feelings..

I appreciate your generosity to me, your constant favor, your constant dedication. If I was your husband, I could say you've done a pretty fantastic job at serving me, even from a distance. You've shown an unending amount of dedication and commitment.

So here is my apology. There has never been an an appropriate amount of apology. As we went through what you wrote, we discussed these things, and we talked about how they've changed. I won't specifically address them again, but I am saying with the deepest amount of regret and love for you, I'm so very sorry. Please accept my apology.

Please allow me to really be a best friend. Thomas has told me (sic) that best friends are the people that care about you and are most dedicated to you. So although you say I was your best friend, even more you were my best friend. You cared about me more than anyone. Even down to needing nail clippers, you wanted to be there every single time.

And so in response to the many blogs you've written, which I'm calling love letters, here is my love letter to you, even just as a friend. I love you for your service. I love you for your heart. I love you for your excitement for life. I love your eye for what looks good and your love for the details. I love how beautiful you are when you are cleaning. I love how you glow when someone says something warm and caring to you. I love how you tilt your head and speak softly when you can tell something is emotional and serious. I love that you care about birthing and nurturing you children, that you will give up your own interests to make sure things are done correctly. I love that you love the Lord and want to serve him. I love that we can talk about anything, for hours, and have no awkwardness. I love that I can trust you with everything. There's so much more to say....I love you.

Your Best Friend,

Matt