The Update

This month has been a roller coaster. I can't even think what to write. I'm so thankful for all of the things I have learned. The Lord is so good to me.

I started September watching friends and family members struggle through various issues in their spiritual and physical lives. I cautiously asked the question of the Lord - "Lord, why isn't my life flooded with trials. I seem to have very few things to complain about, and my life is way too easy." Well, this month, although my trials were still very minuscule. I learned a lot through other struggles, I struggled and was saddened by their trials, and I dealt with a few of my own trials only to realize how sanctifying and generous the Lord is in teaching me.

Selling real estate can be very frustrating but very rewarding. It is a great career for me because I am constantly challenged and no day is ever the same. I hate monotony and so does the real estate industry. Just when I think I have a boring day ahead - I'm pleasantly (sometimes not as pleasantly) surprised to be thrown hard things.

This week I'm also learning about the dangers of seeking affirmation and the fear of man. So often I do things as a response to what others want from me. I rarely say no, and I get easily upset when someone doesn't appreciate something I do. It would take me hours to explain all the different facets of the fear of man, but your mind can wander to realize many different situations where I and most people, do not trust the Lord for our affirmation and acceptance. We don't love the Lord more than we love people. The Lord is growing me to be more consistent in my relationships by not worrying about what others think of me. This does not mean that I will not try to act appropriate and treat others fairly, but I don't need their affirmation as long as I am living my life with the Lord and scriptures as my standard.

Providential Grace

I woke up this morning at 10:00 am. On Sunday mornings, I normally wake up at 8:00 am. Are you starting to see the problem? It takes me a minimum of 30 min to get ready, 30 min to drive to church, and I like to be early. Problem here: Church starts at 9:30. I missed Easter morning service for the first time in my life. I rarely miss any church function if I don't have to, especially Sunday mornings, but I overslept and had no control over the situation. The exciting part is how the Lord used this event to remind me of an important principle of Christianity.

The Christian life is not about going to Sunday service every week or even once in a while. The irony of this morning is, the week I didn't go, thousands of people, like a religious homage, made their bi-annual trip to many mainstream churches around the nation. What makes them think that their ritualistic appearance is giving them "a check" in God's book? It was an important reminder to me that I can't be upset about missing a week at church - 1) because I had no control over the situation and 2) because a weekly attendance is only a good thing when paired with a heart desiring to praise and worship God for who He is. Luckily, I do see the Lord's work in my life to grow me towards a more worshipful and reverent attitude, but this experience was a check on my tendency toward legalism. It also immediately led me to pray for the motives of mainstream churches, the salvation of luke-warm "Christians," and my desires to be for the glory of God.

Also, as a side note, the Lord reminded me that no matter how much I plan to do what I say I will do, His will still prevails. Saturday night, while having a short phone conversation with Thomas, he said, "We'll see you tomorrow morning, Lord-willing. " This is a natural and common response that I hear daily from fellow believers. I, myself, use it quite frequently, but on this occasion, I stopped and had a brief daydream about the etymology and purpose of these words. I know that the James 4 specifically gives us the direction to make plans with the contingency that the Lord's will may trump these plans, but I wondered why it was said just like that "if the Lord wills" or "Lord willing" it just seems a little off from modern day language. Anyway, I also contemplated, briefly, how silly it would be for me not to plan to attend church the next morning. Well, we now see the humor in this situation. The Lord's providence reigns, and yet through that providence, though it seems slightly negative, there is already manifested positives and good from it.

Positives/good I see from sleeping in:

+I was led to dwell on the Lord's word and His promises which snowballed into thanking Him for His grace to reveal things of this nature.

+I was introspective regarding my legalism

+I was able to catch-up on sleep after a long week of late nights and a coming week of late nights.

+I spent more time with my family than I had originally intended.

+I had a blog subject for the day.

Praise God for His work in the lives of believers.

International Careers

I'm taking a 1 hour course right now called International Careers. The purpose of it is to expose students to different government opportunities around the world. Today, as I sit in the class, I am listening to a former Peace Corp Volunteer. The man who normally teaches the class is 30 years in the Foreign Reserve. He has served all over the world as an ambassador, head of regional areas, project manager, and many other titles. His experiences and stories are incredible, and it is neat to consider joining the foreign service (or even the Peace Corp).

I take all this information, and I begin to digest it each Thursday. Joining the foreign service is appealing because of all the benefits, traveling opportunities, and exciting lifestyle. I even consider opportunities to coordinate missionaries into countries where I am working. Wouldn't it be cool to work for the US government, be protected by the US government, but spend evenings and free time spreading the gospel and actually impacting those countries (I'm not trying to discredit opportunities right here in the United States, but there is a need for Christians in the United States to be more evangelically proactive here and abroad.) Regarding the current speaker, it is so sad that there are so many people trying to make the world a better place. Specifically, the feminist sitting in front of me loves her involvement in the Foreign Service and previously in the Peace Corp. Why is she so motivated to promote clean water pumps, make a map of her village, teach sex education, and encourage a better way of life? What moral character was instilled in her? It is evident, despite her efforts, that she is a very sinful person, and she has already implied a denial of the true God several times. This is so frustrating. I am all for sustainability, stewardship of resources, promoting cleanliness and health technology in third world countries, and increasing quality of life, but what good does it do to make someone's life better if it has no eternal weight? Christians need to step up and stop encouraging any "good work" without a gospel message. What good does it do to help the poor and show compassion without it being in Christ's name? Ponder that and look for your own opportunities to help organizations spreading the gospel and helping the unfortunate.

Check out www.Compassion.org to see how Compassion International provides hygiene education, schoolwork help, food, and Biblical teaching to impoverished children around the world.

Also, see the Foreign Service Website - careers.state.gov for more information about their opportunities to apply for and work in Embassies around the world.

I am . . .

I am lost for words.

That's likely a first time in a long time. Sometimes people ask me the question, "Do you ever stop talking besides in your sleep?" I have to respond, "Rarely do I stop talking, even in my sleep." Anyway, that was a silly story. My point is: I am all talked out. Sydney Ruiz, Mike Henry, and I talked from the end of Navigators until 1:30 this morning, hence the reason I am still awake. I appreciate talking to people that have similar interests to me and can keep a conversation going for indefinite amounts of time. It was nice to get to know Mike better, and I discovered that my intuition about people is regularly correct.

My words are beginning to come back. It seems like the Lord constantly has a theme for my life for a given period of time. For the last month, the theme has been about self-examination, ridding oneself of sin, especially the little things, and being introspective to evaluate your heart. I also found myself, out of pride, being very critical of other people in sin (sometimes a bad idea). Anyway, the storyline that I am trying to say is that I went through a recent time of real growth in searching out and destroying pet sins. To see the Lord working in those instances by bringing them to light, humbling my heart, and working out situations for those sins to be acknowledged and dealt with, showed me a more clear way of the Holy Spirit's active work in the life of a believer. It was a great learning experience full of sanctification, as always.

Going back to my late night conversation with Mike and Sydney, I believe the Lord is teaching me about relationships, impacting others lives on a personal level, and dealing with people. It's interesting to see how my thoughts have shifted to relationship analysis so much even just this week. I'm still toying with all these different concepts, but it will be interesting to see how relationships with current friends continue to grow even stronger, and maybe other relationships will begin. What an exciting time!

I thank God for His provision in my life emotionally, relationally, motivationally, and physically. What a great God I serve by His grace.

Coffee House Chatter

Coffee/Wi-Fi places are the best thing since sliced bread. I find myself frequenting the "flying satellites orbiting stars and rainbows" brand of atmosphere these days. Between frequent flyer cards, Crave salads, oversized chairs, meetings with Thomas, and house brew, I have crowned these as my official comfort places. Unfortunately, I end up spending half of my time searching for interesting websites to read and the other half of the time blogging/commenting about things. Well tonight, this will all change. I have homework to do, but the blog MUST come first.

Subject of the Day: Friendships can be such a complicated thing.

It's hard for me to make friends with people. I love it when I actually click with someone for the first time, specifically with other guys because it is always so awkward to corner a person into liking you.

Isn't it so interesting how our culture starts friendships? I'm not even sure how they properly begin. I guess you have class with someone or you meet them at an interest group, and then you invite them to a flying rainbow and chit chat about how your life has been such an interesting experience. This is followed by a mutual realization that you both have lives of similar ambitions, interests, and lifestyles. Now as the commonality needed to further an acquaintanceship has been established, you invite them to a get together with other friends you have. Then, from there, conversation and knowledge about a person blossoms. But how does it really grow and what makes people click? I'm still at a loss for understanding. If you know, please enlighten me.

Blogging

Blogging may be a fad that I have tried many times, but now I am really beginning to see huge value in it. Specifically, I appreciate the ability to say what I am thinking without immediate recourse (wow that is a dangerous thought), but I also like spreading my mind out to many people without having to repeat myself. Also, I like the idea of blog structure - I can do different things with different posts and have fun with it. I think I am going to try to do Wednesday Word Days where I talk about a new word I discovered, Factual Fridays where I mention interesting factual knowledge that I have recently come across, Throw-up Thursdays where I just list everything on my mind, and maybe a few more. Let me know if you have ideas.

To christen the whole thing, I think I will do a Thursday throw up tonight.

Psychology Busywork.
Daniel sings Madonna.
Eyes are heavy.
Furniture needs to be purchased.
To-do list is longer than amout of time in the week.
Cancer strikes hard.
Overeating is only pleasurable at first.
Texting leads to dead batteries.
Saabs are really fast.
Growing friendships is good.
Missed opportunities are unfortunate.
Doing something wrong over and over makes it harder to forget.
Adam wears Bulgarri or something for cologne.
Giving gifts is a great pleasure.
I want to read book after book.
I'm scared of unrepentant habitual sin.
I appreciate motivated people.
I wish I wasn't 18.

Emotions are dangerous but hopefully not this time.

I despise emotion because it often distorts absolutes. A feeling can often change something that you have known is true for a very long time. I hate that. But tonight, I'm swirling with emotions as a result of truth. Here are a few things that are causing my emotion (it's a random selection of emotions):

Emotion: Thrill, Reverence, Excitement, Love, Awe
I love that the Lord constantly convicts me of new sins. I used to find this discouraging, but I now realize that it's a blessing to see that growth. The Bible tells me that the Holy Spirit will work in my life to "root out" and "expose" my unrighteousness. What a great affirmation to see. It's also a great feeling to be driven to cling to Christ by the realization of feebleness and inability to survive on my own.

Emotion: Thankfulness, Excitement, Happiness
I have a great job at a great company that is constantly presenting me with new opportunities. I appreciate how much respect I am given by business men more than twice my age. I was sitting in Flying Star Cafe with friends, and the owner of the largest mortgage company in New Mexico greeted me by name and asked me how I was doing. Granted, I'm working on a large project for him right now, but I really was amazed by his recognition of me given his place in society. It's another attribution to God's provision and one more opportunity for me to shift glory and thank the Lord for giving me so much in so many different areas.

Emotion: Thankfulness, Awe, Worshipful
Church fellowship is crucial to growth and exhortation toward good works. I could not be more proud of the growth I have seen in everyone at church. Never before have I seen such solid and recognizable growth than that which has been made evident most recently in the lives of Lauren, Ryan, and so many others. I am also encouraged to see newer believers so excited by the word, (i.e Adam).

Emotion: Happiness
Preaching the gospel is so rewarding. I love college; it has been such a struggle with sin, but it has also been an awesome opportunity to talk about what I believe with many that I meet. Also, the conversations can be so much more real than with the superficiality that Christian school creates. I am a sinner and no matter how strong I seem in the Lord, I have and will stumble. I try daily to make no provision for that, but I do make mistakes. Without having to meet a quota for happiness and holiness by human standards, I can be real and honest about the sin that I struggle with. While confessing my sin to believers, and discussing my changed heart with unbelievers, I am drawn even closer to Christ. Want to accelerate your relationship with the Lord? Preach the gospel truthfully, make no provision for sin, and be thankful and conscientious of every provision in your life. God is at work in the life of a believer, and it is astounding.

Emotion: Discontentment, Impatience
I think daily about getting married. I want children to teach and grow in Godliness. I want a wife to exhort and love and spend time with. It grows harder by the day. That's that for now. I'll write a whole blog on this later.

I have many more emotions and situations driving these emotions, but flying star is kicking me out because it is 10:35. Praise God from whom all blessings flow; I can't wait for tomorrow and the rest of my life because this year has been such a jumpstart.